Authors: Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, Roger Fisher, Bruce Patton,
Sheila Heen, Roger Fisher

We've all been there: We know we must confront a coworker, store clerk, or
friend about some especially sticky situation--and we know the encounter will be
uncomfortable. So we repeatedly mull it over until we can no longer put it off,
and then finally stumble through the confrontation. Difficult Conversations,
by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen, offers advice for handling these
unpleasant exchanges in a manner that accomplishes their objective and diminishes
the possibility that anyone will be needlessly hurt. The authors, associated with
Harvard Law School and the Harvard Project on Negotiation, show how such dialogues
actually comprise three separate components: the "what happened" conversation
(verbalizing what we believe really was said and done), the "feelings" conversation
(communicating and acknowledging each party's emotional impact), and the "identity"
conversation (expressing the situation's underlying personal meaning).
The explanations and suggested improvements are, admittedly, somewhat complicated.
And they certainly don't guarantee positive results. But if you honestly are
interested in elevating your communication skills, this book will walk you through
both mistakes and remedies in a way that will boost your confidence when such
unavoidable clashes arise.-Howard Rothman

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