For years after college, Max Gross was a schlubby ne’er-do-well sporting an unwieldy Jewfro. He fought off double chins and man boobs. His style of dress was reminiscent of a stoned urban slacker. Young Max Gross truly was hapless in a big city.

He was seemingly without luck or hope. He had bedbugs, a bad breakup, and an audit by the IRS that threatened to break his soul. But he had heart (as well as two nagging parents). When Gross saw the smash comedy Knocked Up, he realized his day might have arrived.

All these years of being a world-class schlub would finally pay off. Thinking quickly, Gross wrote an article about the phenomenon and soon found true love. In this hilarious memoir-cum-guidebook, our curly-headed hero shares his story and offers suggestions on leaving home (the bedbugs and consequent breakup forced a move back to his parents’ loving arms), losing weight (but not too much), dressing well, playing poker to fulfill the typical schlub obsession with being good at sports, and much more. Naturally, the quest to find the right woman is of critical importance, and Gross expounds on this thoroughly. Readers will come away from the book enlightened, informed, and laughing hysterically.

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