A renowned psychoanalyst offers a sneak peek into our sexual fantasies--and surprising
revelations about the impact they have on our lives.
Based on the largest-ever survey of sexual fantasies, and drawing on the author's twenty-
five years of clinical practice, this "anatomy of secret desire" does for sexual fantasy
what Kinsey did for sexual behavior. However, unlike Kinsey's books, which were almost
unreadably dense and data-driven, Who's Been Sleeping in Your Head? features narrative
accounts of sexual fantasies and the author's own insightful interpretations of how those
fantasies affect our lives. Kahr reveals the astonishing truth behind secrecy, shame and
taboo, and demonstrates how sex fantasies exert a more powerful influence on our emotions,
behavior, and relationships than we ever imagined.
Kahr's insights are liberating. He tells us the story of Margaret, who, in mining early
sexual abuse for arousing and satisfying sexual fantasies: "succeeded brilliantly in
turning a childhood trauma into an adult triumph." He explains how he helped a young man
who couldn't get turned on by his beautiful girlfriend but only by dominatrix-themed porn,
and how numerous men and women used fantasy to become more intimate with their partners--
or to be unfaithful or even cruel to them instead. Ultimately, by unmasking the myths and
destroying the guilt and ignorance surrounding sexual fantasy, Kahr offers readers a chance
to lead richer and less conflicted lives.
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